If you’re looking for ways you can become more confident
If you want to know some practical strategies to become more confident
If you are not sure why you are lacking confidence
Not everyone is born with a high level of self–confidence. Sometimes it can be hard to develop confidence, whether because of personal experiences that have caused you to lose confidence or suffering from low self–esteem.
There are a couple of handy things you can do to build your confidence. Some of these are just little changes to your frame of mind, and others are things you have to work on for a bit longer to get used to them.
Top tips for building self–confidence
Take pride in what you have already achieved.
Sometimes it can be easy to focus on what you haven’t done. It’s easy to lose confidence if you feel like you haven’t achieved anything. Focusing on stuff you have done, big or small, can help gain perspective on all your talents and abilities.
Write down a list of all the things you’re proud of in your life. Think of things you have achieved, whether it’s getting a good mark on an exam or even learning to ride a bike. Keep this list close and add to it when you do something you’re proud of. When you’re low in confidence, pull this list out and celebrate the things you’ve achieved so far.
Think of the things you’re good at. Everyone has strengths and talents, what are yours? Have a look at our fact sheet on strengths and work out how you can build on yours. Recognising what you’re good at and trying to build on those things can be a really valuable way of building confidence in your own abilities.
Set some goals.
Set some goals and aim to achieve them. By proving to yourself that you can get stuff done, you’ll prove to yourself what you’re capable of achieving. They don’t have to be big goals; they can even be things like baking a cake or planning a night out with friends.
Just little things that can be ticked off a list and help you gain self–confidence in
your ability to get stuff done.
Talk yourself up.
You’re never going to feel confident if you have a negative commentary running through your mind telling you you’re no good. Think about your self–talk and how that might be affecting your self–confidence. Have a read of our fact sheet on self–talk to get some handy tips on turning your negative self–talk around.
Get a hobby.
Try to find something that you’re really passionate about. Do you like playing footy? Like building model trains? Think of some of the stuff you’re really interested in and commit yourself to giving them a go. Finding stuff that you’re passionate about will help you find stuff that you’re good at. Chances are, if you’re interested or passionate about a certain activity you’re likely to be good at it as well. It can also be a skill you can master, something that will inevitably give you higher self–confidence.
Talk to someone about it.
Not everyone is going to be able to make you feel better about yourself. In fact, there are some people in the world who will purposefully try and lower your self–confidence. But if you can find someone that you trust who will tell you honestly what you’re good at and who you can talk to about your self–confidence, gohave a chat with them. This might be a friend, a parent, a teacher or a counsellor.
› Take comfort in the fact that gaining confidence takes time
› Read real–life battles with confidence
› Find out more about working on confidence and other self–talk
Confidence can be a tough thing to build on but we have some handy tips that just might help you out. Things like listing what you’ve already achieved, or finding a hobby can be a really great way of building self–confidence. If these strategies don’t help, you might have to dig a bit deeper for ways of building yourself up.
Sometimes the quick fixes don’t help in the long term. If you’re feeling really bad and things just don’t seem to be getting better, it might be worth going to talk to someone who knows how to build you up.
Professionals like counsellors and psychologists have some really good strategies that can help you build up your confidence. Not only that, but they may able to help you find the underlying problem that might be causing you to feel bad about yourself.
The author, Rajesh Seshadri, is an internationally recognized Certified Leadership Coach, Certified Success Coach and Certified Life Coach. He is also a NLP Master Practitioner, facilitator and therapist. The basket of therapies is holistic and integrative adopting techniques from Psychotherapy, NLP, Silva, Gestalt, Hypnosis and Silva UltraMind. Additionally, he is a seasoned corporate professional who continues to serve as a whole-time Director and Board Member. You can contact him here.